Things My Students Say

o I’ve left this blog for so long that I’m now trying to figure out the most concise way to catch up on what’s been happening. In the meantime, I’ve made a list of some of the things my students have said that have amused me. I love checking their work because sometimes they amaze me not only with their English skills, but with their ability to be funny in English.
o My favorite “My Summer Vacation” essay: “Maybe summer vication is really nice everyone because they went Ulaanude, a nice cities, Disneyland, camp, etc. Probably, they were very interesting, funny. However, I was lonely in my home like stupid. Now I’ll tell you about this event. First, I dreamed about very nice things. Example, I’ll go to camp, countryside, a big big cities, etc. But this dream was unlucky. Then I did my homework and cleaned my home.” Funny and poignant at the same time. Amazing.
o The first 9th-grade lesson teaches how to describe someone’s appearance using “looks” and “looks like.” My counterpart’s first example was, “Joyce Teacher looks like Barbie.” (I’ve been told this before and my coworkers also use it to describe my new female sitemate. My first reaction was, “Have you ever seen a Barbie?” but I’ve since realized that it’s used for any tall Caucasian woman who wears makeup. It can be confusing to be called “Barbie” and “fat” by the same person on the same day, but I’ve gotten used to it.) Anyway, this led to my being used in a bunch of examples. My favorite was, “Joyce Teacher looks like Selena Gomez, who is Justin Beiber’s girlfriend.” If you’re over 15, you probably don’t know who that is. She’s a beautiful Latina actress who looks nothing like me, but I was flattered nonetheless. At least until another girl chimed in: “No, she looks like Celine Dion!” Yeah...that one’s more accurate. I also learned from this lesson and similar ones that “looks like a Korean movie star” is apparently the highest compliment that can be paid to anyone here, male or female.
o One interesting 7th-grade lesson had the students looking at a picture of some Genghis-Khan-looking guys sitting in a ger labeled as “The 13th Century.” Their ger had things like a TV and a refrigerator. Students were supposed to write sentences pointing out inaccuracies (e.g. “There were no TVs in the 13th century.”) In the picture, the refrigerator had some chicken legs in it. As I walked around the room to check their work, I noticed that almost every single student had written, “There was not chicken in the 13th century.” I'm not sure what to make of that one.
o 8th grade has also been learning how to describe appearances. We played a game I’ve used before that’s always a little dangerous. One student comes to the front of the class and describes a student in that class. The rest of the students have to guess who it is based on the description (I’ve had good luck with it, but Mongolians’ brutal honesty can get uncomfortable for me. For example, when all the student has to say is “fat” and everyone in the classroom points and yells “It’s BILGUUN! BILGUUN IS FAT!”). This lesson’s activity ended early for similar reasons. The first descriptor was apparently too easy: “Girl who looks like Bruce Lee.” Everyone immediately pointed to the new girl, who giggled but didn’t seem bothered by it. Although unless she’s hiding a 6-pack under her uniform, I’m still not sure in what ways she resembles Bruce Lee. However, when the next one started with, “This boy is heavy. Too heavy,” I cut it short. My counterpart took a turn describing someone: “This person works at the school. She is smaller than the other teachers. She has big eyes and blonde hair. She is pregnant. Her husband is the gym teacher. Who is it?” The kids yelled in unison, “Joyce teacher!” Either all they understood was “big eyes and blonde hair” or they think it’s entirely unsurprising to learn that I’m married to the gym teacher and we are expecting a child soon.
o In my English club (which I’ll write more about in the next post), I gave the students lists of English slang terms and told them to work in pairs to write a dialogue using at least 10 words or phrases. They all turned out pretty funny, but the best was written and performed by a an 8th-grade boy and a 10th-grade girl:
-“Hey, what’s up?”
-“Nothing. Talk to you later.”
-“No, I wanna talk to you now.”
-“I’m outta here.”
-“You’re no big deal to me.”
o In another 8th-grade lesson, I had my students complete sentences using “because” and “so” (e.g. “We were late for class, so….” or “I’m tired because….”) As I was walking around checking their work, one very quiet boy in the back tried to cover his notebook with his arm. I looked at what he had written: “My head hurts because a yeti beat me,” and “We didn’t do our homework, so the teacher punched us.” Hahaha! Where did he even learn “punch”? And why would he want to hide that?
o The week leading up to Halloween, I did Halloween lessons in all my classes. They don’t celebrate here, but I explained what it was and how we celebrate. On Halloween morning I was woken up by this text from a student, “Good morning teacher! Today Halloween! Halloween!” Sometimes my kids are so cute I can’t even stand it.
o And finally, the most recent one was a question my 9th-grader posed to me after English club: “Teacher, all adults hate Justin Beiber. Why?”